Whats My Purpose?


By: Lexie

     Beginning in middle school, I would obsessively dwell on my ideas about what my future would look like.  I imagined that I would be happy if I could just achieve certain goals.  I was extremely anxious about the future.  This insecurity added to my tendency to look for fulfillment in relationships with friends and family skewed my perception of the true purpose God has for my life.  I wanted my plans for the future to line up with society’s expectations of status and success.  All my plans revolved around getting a job in order to have the type of car, house, and lifestyle I wanted.  I believed if I stayed connected in relationships and achieved my career goals, I would be satisfied.  My identity was based on fulfilling expectations I had created for myself. 

     I began to realize my dreams were not filling me with excitement and passion.   As long as I was doing things for myself I would only want more and more and never be satisfied.  Although Jesus had been a part of my life since I was young, I didn’t realize what completely surrendering my future to Him looked like until my sophomore year in high school.  I was at an event for a ministry I was involved in when the speaker talked about God’s plans for our lives. He told us to ask what we can do for God’s kingdom rather than what we can do for ourselves when thinking about the future.  I was reminded of God’s sovereignty and great love for humanity and how, because of sin, every one of us is born separated from God.  In spite of our sin, God’s love for us moved Him to send His only son to die in our place.  Jesus paid the penalty we deserve for our sin so we can experience relationship with God.  We only need to accept His forgiveness of our sins and make Him the Lord of our lives.  That night I completely surrendered my future to God, asking Him to lead and guide me. 
     
     As time moved on I began to see a difference in my feelings and plans for the future.  God has freed me from all expectations I previously felt I needed to live up to.  I am no longer anxious because I realize that fulfilling my career and family expectations alone will not satisfy me. I am completely fulfilled every day because the God who created everything chooses to love me. I feel free to pursue the passions God has given me and let Him work out the rest.  Although I still experience some anxiety and uncertainty at times, I know that God has awesome plans for my future and I can experience peace in knowing I don’t have to have it all figured out.  

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